Build Trust, Be Persuasive - Look ‘em in the Eyes

What going through your mind when someone you’re talking to won’t meet your eyes or keeps shifting their gaze to some distant point?    Good eye contact is such a powerful tool and so easy to use, yet so common to neglect. Good eye contact creates the perception that you are:
          More trustworthy, honest, and sincere
          More warm and personable
          More attractive and likeable
         More qualified, skilled, and competent
         More confident and emotionally stable
   Added to the sense of intimacy and a leftover feeling that the interaction was positive and you may just realize that there is no part of your life that wouldn’t benefit from this.
   It’s easy to understand why mediators sometimes rely on face to face exchanges to push through an impasse in negotiations. The effect is lost though if the addressee appears bored or distracted - so it may be necessary to ask the recipient to look at the person who is speaking and to expect the same courtesy.
   Funny thing about this - it’s almost impossible to sustain anger when you’re looking at another person face to face for five minutes, even if nothing is said. Try it the next time you’re fighting with someone. Warning: this exercise often leads to deep empathy and warmth even when you don’t know the other person.
   Next installment…  Mediation – The Perfect First Date?